Friday, 30 October 2009
Film 9: BRIDGET JONES' DIARY
So, here we go, the beast that is Bridget Jones' Diary.
"Don't be silly Bridget, you'll never get a boyfriend if you look like you wandered out of Auschwitz". Nope, I don't remember many survivors wandering out wearing cashmere scarves.
Hey, another laugh a minute intro there!
Ah, Colin Firth again. This film and Love Actually are going to merge, aren't they. Is Hugh Grant still going to knock down that community centre? Blimey, Zellwegger is sat eating alone listening to "All By Mysef", this appears to be another theme with lonely women. Apart from talking to each other in nothing but their bras, do women listen to incredibly poignant music to cheer themselves up.
BLOODY HELL. She just got on some scales, and they read 9 and a half stone. Can I express my complete BLOODY OUTRAGE on behalf of all women everywhere that this is meant to be fat?? Frankly, Zellwegger never looked better than she did in this film, her face hardly looks like an anteater's at all.
Oh, here come Hugh Grant. He's playing a boss again. He always plays a boss. There's no way I'm going to be able to keep up with this. Gaius Baltar's in it as well, and he's basically a Happy Shopper Hugh Grant. This really couldn't get more confusing. Where am I?
Oh, in a stroke of brilliant timing, the JustGiving site appears to be down for the night. If you've been thinking of donating, or indeed tried to donate, please please HOLD THAT THOUGHT and try again tomorrow. I'll still be up in time to send them an email asking them nicely to get it fixed.