We knew this moment would come eventually. The film about three hookers and their mum, to quote Family Guy.
Just so you know, I have seen every episode of this fucking programme. My wife's fault, you understand. Looking at the back of the DVD case, I can see this film is going to last for 145 endless minutes, which makes the endless series re-cap at the beginning seem even more sarcastic.
However, nothing has prepared me for the first scene proper of the film, when SJP is viewing a colossal penthouse apartment overlooking central park, but whinges when she sees that the closet in the cavernous master bedroom isn't very big. But He will build her a new one, so that's fine ARRRRGHHH I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN.
Mind you, I'm the one sat here typing self-indulgent musings into an Apple laptop and moaning about my life, but at least my 'closet' is relatively spacious, and I'm very happy with my shoes.
oh for love of God can't the UN get involved. They banned water boarding. This must be higher up the scales of torture deemed unacceptable by a modern society. Im currently phoning International Rescue to see if we can get them to help get you out of this nightmare situation. Lets hope the Tracey boys arent too busy. Our thoughts are with you at this most difficult of times.....
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